Thursday, April 06, 2006

On the Eve of My [undisclosed number]th...

I was prepared to be upset about this birthday, but I'm feeling pretty good on the night before this special day - a special day celebrated all around the world by... me. And generally I don't celebrate birth-days - I have birthday months or birthday weeks. My husband seems to think I'm getting too old to drag the event out over a long period of time anymore, so I cheer quietly when no one's in the room and eat lots of cake when no one's looking.

As some of you may know, I've got a pirate fetish. (Truthfully, I'm not quite sure what that means - maybe I'm attracted to peg legs and parrots and mouths ravaged by scurvy.) While looking for my daughter's birthday stuff in Party America, I happened upon the pirate aisle:

"Why don't you have a pirate birthday, hon?" I asked with a straight face. And I tried very hard to keep the puppy-dog eyes in check.

"No, mom. I want something else."

"But pirates are cool! Look at this pirate hat! And this amazing shark pinata! We could stuff it with chocolate doubloons. Wouldn't that be great?!"

My husband patted me on the shoulder. "Um, Laura..."


"We're shopping for Heather's party."


"Laura, you're not having a party."

"But I could have a party."

"Hon, you know all of five people up here. Who would you invite?"

Good question. Too bad I don't know a motley crew of sea-going lads dressed in frilly shirts, tight breeches, and tall leather boots. But if you know of any, send 'em my way in three years. I'll be celebrating my [undisclosed number]th then - and hubby promised me a pirate party!

So I guess it's a good thing Ruthie's Club is having a Pirate Fest starting April 10th. Look for my bit o' flash called "Twenty Lashes" and my humorous short story entitled "Captain Jack Goes Straight. Well, Sort Of..." Trust me - he does no such thing!

Since I can't surround myself with taut 20-something male booty tomorrow, I wonder if I'll get a birthday spanking. If so I'll get plenty of whacks! [Undisclosed number], to be exact. ;)


Silma said...

Happy Birthday, hon! Have a wonderful day! *g*

Shawn said...

Wishing you a Happy Birthday and many lashes!

Amanda Brice said...

Happy birthday! And I live in your neck o' the woods, so I'd definitely go to a pirate party. *coyly batting eyelashes*

Shelli Stevens said...

Happy birthday, Laura! Hey, weren't you the Diva who had a thing for the Pirate in the Wiggles? LOL.

Karen said...

Coming in so very late on this... but hope you had a great birthday.


Anonymous said...

Oh My, A pirate fetish! Although I think I already wish you well once, I'll say it again, matey--Happy Birthday! LOL

p.s. I guess this means you have a little on the "Captain" in you? *rum commercial on tv*

Laura Bacchi said...

Yep, Shelli. Keep ye paws off Cap'n Feathersword! He's all mine!!!

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes! And Cerri, I had a lot more than a Captain in me that night. Tee hee!