Wednesday, May 30, 2007

What I need...

There's a fun new meme going around. Google your first name and "needs" and see what pops up. Here are mine:

1. 25 cents and 2 fingers are all Laura needs.
Damn, I'm cheap. I do need a cock occasionally, and that will cost you a buck.

2. Laura needs some post-toddler love.
Yes, I do. Especially now that I'm a full-grown woman.

3. Laura needs to get out more.
So very true. What a pathetic lonely life I lead...

4. Laura needs a new cell phone.
Actually mine works quite well now that I finally figured out how to use most of the settings.

5. “You know full well that Laura needs—” “Oh, yes, I know. Laura needs more attention. Laura needs more love. Laura needs more praise. Laura needs everything ...
Wow. I like this one. It's got passion and angst. Yes, I am a very needy girl.

6. Laura needs 2 more votes.
And if you give me those votes, I promise you we will withdraw our troops from Iraq.

7. Laura needs to play a show associated with shoes. and then whamo!
Not sure what the writer of this statement was smoking, but I would like some.

8. Laura needs a Good Book to Fight Coal Plants from Dallas.
Again, there were some drugs involved...

9. Laura needs to stay on topics where she has "working knowledge" of the material.
Which is why I try to stick to writing sex ;)

10. Laura needs two things that are extremely important.
And those two things would be...?

11. Laura needs a spanking one hundred times a day.
Um, can we stop at about 50?

12. Laura needs her own theme music.
I've been saying this for years. Finally someone is listening!

13. Laura needs constant attention from everyone as she has trouble controlling her impulses.
How very true. They say I'll go blind soon if I don't stop.

But what exactly does Laura want?

1. Laura wants to drape her leg over the shoulder of the boy in front of her, to show off her bruises.
Yep, I do. Especially if said boy created those bruises.

2. Laura wants to have sex in the dining room.
Actually any room is fine. I'm easy.

3. Laura wants a piece of Emily's necklace.
Just one pearl, dammit!

4. Laura wants some go-go boots.
Shiny day-glo pink ones, please.

5. Laura wants to concentrate on her work, but Alisha just wants to take off her clothes.
Darn it, Alisha! I'm tired of your little games. You want this shirt off?! Here, take it. How about my skirt? Panties, too? Oh, you little slut! [Then there's a cat-fight, lots of hair-pulling, etc. etc.]

6. Laura wants revenge against Hellsing.
Damn straight I do. Watch out, you, you... What kind of name is Hellsing?

7. Laura wants to have at least six children.
Um, wrong Laura there, folks.

8. Laura wants to help you get started on your organizing, staging, and home decorating by offering some free tips for you!
I couldn't organize my way out of a paper bag.

9. ...all Laura wants is a bit of rest.
Ah, that's no lie. I think I'll end here and get some shut-eye. Nite!


Eden Bradley said...

OMG-this was hysterical! Off to see what I need. :)

Lisa Andel said...

No kidding. I love your lists. I'm thinking I'm stealing your "wants" idea.